5.What If I Am An Enabler?
Admitting you are an enabler is difficult. There aren’t many people in the world that live with or love an addicted individual that have not done or said something throughout the progression of the addiction that is not considered an enabling comment. Learning to “help” rather than “hurt” your loved one requires a conscious effort.
Many times enablers believe they are helping their loved one. Helping an addicted person means you are doing something for them that they are not capable of doing themselves. Enabling means you are doing something that your loved one could or should do but isn’t doing. Enabling allows your loved one to continue with their destructive behavior.
Attending support groups to relearn behavior is one of the most important things an enabler can do. If the group setting is not for you, try individual counseling. The enabling behaviors have been learned and you need assistance in relearning constructive rather than destructive behavior. If your loved one is your spouse it may be beneficial to take the children and leave for a while to show the addict what it will be like if their behavior continues.
Stop making excuses for your addicted loved one. Make them personally accountable for their behaviors. Get the help you need and worry about yourself and your children rather than the loved one that’s going down a path to personal destruction.